A Poem Based On Completely True Events: "To The Drunk Men Behind Me In Aisle 23"

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Based on completely real, actually true, life events that unfortunately happened to moi.

To The Drunk Men Behind Me In Aisle 23

Don’t drink and fly now and don’t kick my chair
Don’t act so high, please — why, yes, I do care.

My word, I am shocked that you’re all 27.
With your shouting and jeering, you’re acting 11.

Don’t crowd surf, you drunk boys,
You’re making such darn noise

That I want to hit you to make you be still
Yet that wouldn’t work, for who knows what will?

In your superman cape, you make quite a scene
But you’re rude and uncouth and really, quite mean.

You’re vulgar in French now, yes I hear those words
Obscene and obtuse, why you’re drunk and absurd!

A writer’s got to vent, or she just might scream
But bump me again and I’ll lose all my steam.

Sit down, stupid boys now, or I’ll open the hatch
And kick you all out and then bolt up the latch.

Goodbye, bachelor French men who’ve had too much wine.
It was great flying with you — no, really, divine.

So glad now my back hurts and my nausea returned
From your airline flight drinking, yes, all I endured.

No wonder you’re single, but I say “c’est la vie!”
To the drunk men behind me in aisle 23.

Needless to say, my flight experience from Paris to Dublin was...less than ideal. Easily the worst flight I've ever had and it was also probably the most annoyed I've been at any group of people in my entire life.  That tells you something.

This was them...literally getting drunk on a plane:

This was me:

Moral of the story #1: Get as far away from drunk people on a plane as you can.

Moral of the story #2: Don't anger a writer — sometimes revenge comes in the form of a limerick.

So glad to be home safe and sound in my beautiful Florida in my wonderful America.

So long Europe!


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  1. Excellent! I love the word "uncouth." This should be published.

    1. Haha, thanks Tim! I'd love to send it off somewhere. :)

  2. Too funny! So... How are you liking how insanely hot it is here? Lol. I live in NW Florida, so it may not be as bad where you live, but it is BAD here!

    1.'s so bad. After being in England, I feel far more sensitive to the heat now! Missing those cool mornings and afternoon showers!!

  3. Haha! So great. Sorry your flight was bad, but glad it yielded this funny piece. Welcome home!

    1. Thanks, Lucy Rose! I wrote this on my second flight from Dublin to Orlando just to pass the time. It kind of makes up for the first horrible flight. Kinda, sorta, just a little bit.

  4. LOL, I love this! At least they were inspiration!